Letters from China No 14

5^th October, 2008

The IKEA experience…

Last week was the Chinese National holiday, celebrating 59 years of the “New China”. We were invited by the Guangdong Provincial Government to a celebration at the Shangri-la Hotel or Sangali-Ra Fandian in Chinese-speak. Our bus driver took all 40 of our brave colleagues and us around the city to the new Business District and the hotel in a seemingly endless journey arriving 45 minutes after the speeches had begun. As we walked into the Pearl River Ballroom we just had enough time to hear the last speaker thanking us all for coming and to “enjoy your dinner”. No speeches!!!! YEAHHHHHHH

The buffet was declared open and the free-for-all began. The GD Provincial Govt. did us well with endless delicious entrees and desserts to die for – the diet went out the window and a quick extra kilo was registered the morning after – salads for a day or two!!

We had planned to visit IKEA during the week’s holiday and so we set off on Thursday morning to find that half of the city had had the same idea, only difference was that we actually intended to buy something. When you visit IKEA in places like this – we used to do it in Saudi in Riyadh – the same thing happens there – you suddenly find that amongst all these “shoppers” – thousand upon thousand of them –there are really only a couple of hundred buying anything. The rest come for the air-conditioning and a chance to fall asleep in the comfy sofas and even more, the very comfy beds. Couples come in with cameras and tripods taking each others photograph in the room of their dreams, just to show their pals what they aspire to. Fortunately, IKEA closes at 10pm, so they all have to go home then. BUT, for the ones who do leave earlier there’s the Mr. Softee ice-cream stand at the door on the way out, so for all of 20 pence or 40 cents you can get a large ice-cream and extend your air-conditioned bliss for a few minutes more. Some even brave the trip around again and have the Swedish meatballs for a late lunch, all for about one pound or two dollars. It beats going to the park when it’s 35C and 100% humidity and you can also enjoy it when the latest typhoon comes roaring along flooding everywhere. So, for a few minutes, or hours, you can escape the reality of a tiny apartment with only a fan and a mosquito net. Sweden and flat-pack furniture becomes the reality.

It was the first time we had actually managed to get round and come out the other end through the finishing line of check-out girls without spending a fortune and had actually only bought the small frying pan we wanted. No scented candles, plastic trays or even flat-pack bookcases (our favourite) or the unenviable task of trying to describe how to deliver to our apartment using the English/Cantonese/Mandarin/hand signals/drawing sketches technique. The first time we had something delivered to our apartment the driver called us on his way here to inform us he was en route. Unfortunately he mistook our overjoyed response to mean that we wouldn’t be at home, so he went back to the warehouse with our goodies. We went back to the store, discovered what had happened and had them write directions specifically telling the driver to call the store and tell them he was on his way then they would call us in English telling us not to move for the next few hours as he might not in fact be coming to us first, perhaps after his other deliveries, or maybe before – just stay home!! All was well and the flat–pack bookcases were delivered safely along with the huge sofa, the office chair, two desks, three computer cabinets etc. etc. etc. etc. I just hope you all go through the same crises as we do with IKEA, at least you’ll understand what I’m getting at. After that particular delivery, Barbara and I decided to show our unending appreciation of the men staying until ten at night building our furniture by giving them a good tip. Barbara dug into her purse and pulled out two hundred Yuan (30 dollars) and stuffed it in the men’s jackets as they point-blank refused to accept it. BUT, they eventually got in their truck happy bunnies. I commented to Barbara that she had just given them about one man’s full weeks wages for doing two hours assembly – no wonder they refused at first, but were grinning all over as they sped off.

We do our bit for the economy here……..